


Trust the Force, Always

by Jaegervega



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Captain Keeli - Freeform, Clone Trooper, Clone Wars, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ima-Gun Di - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 07:28:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7160021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaegervega/pseuds/Jaegervega
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>General Ima-Gun Di is tortured by the effects the Clone war has on him. Thankfully his Captain lends him a shoulder to lean on</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trust the Force, Always

**Author's Note:**

> This is an attempt at writing I made, I usually do not write but I really wanted to explore these two characters and I ended up writing this thing. Also because this rarepair deserves some content imo
> 
> ***Now has been Beta'd

Ima-Gun Di was pretty sure he’s never known the true meaning of being free. He’d been taken into the Jedi temple around his fourth year but he still had faint memories of his mother. Memories he could never learn to let go or forget.  
She had been a slave to the Hutts and, naturally, he had been one, too. She had loved him deeply and protected him as much as she could. When a Jedi came to tell her they have to take her son away, she hadn’t been particularly happy. In fact, she had barely been convinced to let him go. He was her only child, the only good thing in her life. And, having the Jedi take away her baby was probably the most painful thing that had ever happened to her.  
Ima-Gun’s last memory of his mother was her crying as he was being taken away, the Jedi telling him he’s meant to be a protector of the galaxy, that he has so much to learn and a great life is ahead of him.

Years later, in the middle of a raging war, now General Di, is sitting alone in his room trying desperately to meditate, to get the awful images of death out of his mind, connect with the force and let it guide him. He’s been relying on the force’s guidance ever since he found out how to use it and, until now, it had never failed him. But now was different, now was war, something his master never prepared him for.  
He had lost his master a few years before the war began, shortly after becoming a Knight. Di was never confident enough in his skills as a Jedi and having his master be taken from him at such a young age shook him to the core. He felt lost and alone, but after some time and a lot of meditation, he managed to calm down, let the Force guide him and let go. The most important thing a Jedi has to be able to do.

After that time, meditating had become one of Ima-Gun’s main priorities, something he strived to do every day. It was something essential to every Jedi, his master had said, something you can’t connect to the Light side of the Force without and something that will never make you feel things like fear and anger, it washes those away, rids of the darkness, sets you on the right path.

Currently, meditating seems to be doing exactly the opposite. Old thoughts and memories keep surfacing up in his mind, while horrid images from the war flash before his eyes. He’s shaking and can barely keep his eyes closed. His legs are aching under the weight of his body, he hasn’t eaten anything, not after the battle, not after seeing so many of his men die. He’s tired, oh so tired, all he wants is to be able to just relax. But that seems so impossible at this moment.  
There’s a knock on the door. Di’s eyes snap open, he tries to steady his voice and manages to let out a shaky ‘Yes’.

“I’m sorry to bother you General, but you didn’t show up at the mess this morning and the men and I were sort of worried…”  
Captain Keeli seems exceptionally concerned.  
Ah, so it’s already tomorrow. 

“It’s alright Captain, I’m fine, I was just meditating.”  
Keeli is a great man and a wonderful Captain and there is very strong mutual respect between him and the General.  
It doesn’t seem like he was buying what Di was saying, though. His expression turns into a frown and he crosses his arms.  
“You really don’t seem fine, sir. I can tell.” Keeli turns and shuts the door behind him. “General Di, I’m really sorry to intrude on you like this but...I’m…really worried about you.” The man’s warm brown eyes are locked on Ima-Gun’s own and he could swear it’s like Keeli’s looking right past the act he’s trying to pull. That’s odd, as he’s pretty sure there are no Force-sensitive Clones.  
“I know something’s been wrong since the last battle, sir, and I wanted to talk to you about it. You can tell me.”  
Di blinks. He can’t quite believe what’s happening. His Captain is offering him emotional comfort. He knows Keeli is very bold and never hesitates to say what he wants to say, even if sometimes it was quite improper. At first, the General thought he was unruly and impolite, but with time he realized the boy was just painfully honest. And a certain amount of headstrong, especially when he had an objective he felt inclined to accomplish.  
Currently that objective seems to be to make the Jedi vent to him.  
“I’m…I guess the war is taking its toll on me.” Damn, that was suddenly very easy to admit.  
“It is on all of us, sir. And I think that’s normal, it is war. And, unlike me and my brothers, you weren’t bred to be able to handle that.”  
Keeli moves closer and sits on the ground opposite his General.  
“I don’t think it’s disgraceful that it affects you this much. Even though you’re a Jedi, there are sometimes some things that are just too much for anybody to handle. I mean, it affects me too, even though I was meant for this… All the death, all the brothers I lose every day, it hurts. A lot.”  
Ima-Gun is dumbstruck. His eyes are locked on Keeli’s face, who’s looking at him with the most care and compassion he’s ever seen in any being before. He feels like he’s going to start crying any moment.  
It seems like Keeli sensed that as well, as a wave of worry washes over his face.  
“General…?”  
Di can’t answer. He tries forming words in his head but anything he could possibly say would sound pathetic and strangled. He looks down at his hands and finds that they are still shaking.  
With no warning, he sees the Captain reaching out and putting his own hands over his.  
The Jedi’s eyes are welling up by now and he suddenly feels all the things that were said to be fatal, that they will lead him into the Dark. But nothing has ever felt so quite right in his entire life. This exact moment, with him on the floor of his room, his Captain opposite him, holding his hands and looking at him with so much love.  
That’s it. Di realizes, or maybe the Force tells him, it is love. His Captain feels genuine love for him. Something he hasn’t received from anybody besides his mother.  
And that realization completely obliterates any control Master Di has left and he crumbles, his head falling on Keeli’s shoulder. He’s crying, he can’t help it and he doesn’t want to help it.  
Keeli wraps his arms around his Genral, holding him gently.

“You’re fine, sir. I know it, you’re strong, you’ll be just fine.”

Di lets out an audible sob and hooks his own arms around Keeli’s waist, holding on to his belt.

“I don’t know if I can survive this war, Keeli.” He’s honest. He doesn’t feel like he’s capable of doing this and not falling to the Dark Side. He could feel the pull. It’s torturing him, not giving him peace.

“Of course you will. You’re a Jedi, and you have me and all your men protecting you. You know we would all give our lives for you.”

“I don’t want that. I don’t want anybody’s life being taken away instead of mine. And what if we do survive? What happens then?” Di sobs again.  
Crying is always horribly messy, he hates that about it the most.  
“What happens when there is no more war and I am supposed to go on with my Jedi business and I don’t have you anymore?”

The Captain smiles sweetly and puts his hand on Ima-Gun’s head, petting him gently.

“Then don’t go on about your Jedi business, sir. You have the freedom to quit, don’t you?"

“I…I suppose I do.”

Suddenly everything makes sense. He’s not a prisoner to the Jedi. He’s not a prisoner to this war. He is free to quit, even before the war was over. But he doesn’t. And why? He’s clearly suffering, why could’t he make it easier on himself and leave, live his own life, be happy? It’s all because he believes he could help others. The whole purpose of the Jedi is this, after all; to help others, to keep the peace. And currently so, so many were suffering. Beings who had no lighsaber or blaster to wield for themselves, nobody else to protect them.

He isn’t fighting this war for himself, he’s fighting it for all those who were suffering, for all those like his mother who are being oppressed and enslaved and killed off.  
He lets go of Keeli then, wiping his face on his sleeve. After looking at him, he sees that his Captain’s beaming smile. It’s gentle and sweet and Force help him, he’s beautiful. Di is overwhelmed by the need to kiss him.  
As a ‘thank you’ of course, not anything involving romantic emotions at all. At least that’s what he wants to believe.

“Captain…Thank you for your support and what you said. I realized some important things which I think I really needed to understand.”

“You’re very welcome sir.” The man winks. How cruel.

“Make sure you call me if you ever need to talk again, General. I’d be more than happy to listen to you. Or just hold you. Or whatever else you might need.”  
As he says this, Keeli stands and adjusts his armor.

“I’ll keep it in mind, thank you”

Ima-Gun smiles as Keeli excuses himself and walks out of the room. Then he closes his eyes and feels the warmth of the Force wash over him as if congratulating him on a job well done.


End file.
